A sort of big choice
by ejosephinemachine
Summary: Lily Evans's first moments in the Great Hall of Hogwarts, and the sorting ceremony. She's faced with a very big decision.


She hadn't realised, when she had decided to go to magic school, that getting there would require quite such a rigmarole. She supposed that she had just imagined that she would be transported there, by magic. What a silly thought.

She had been surprised to learn that the top-secret wizarding world was accessed through a wall at King's Cross station, which hardly seemed to scream 'magical'. After running through the special wall, the journey was taken, somewhat unsurprisingly, on a train, an admittedly very impressive, scarlet steam engine that carried the students up north, to the very cold hills and lakes of Scotland. They then walked to a few boats that took them across the huge, black lake. Part of Lily was amazed by the beauty of her surroundings, the ink of the waters, illuminated by the moon, and the flickering candlelight glow that streamed from a great castle on a hill over the lake. Another part of Lily was wishing that she could have taken one of the carriages that she had seen the older students getting in from the station, because the boats were rocking quite violently and it was very cold with the icy September wind.

It had taken quite a lot of effort to get to the great wooden doors, and to stand in front of the severe looking Professor McGonagall, a dark-haired witch in fancy robes and a stereotypically pointy hat. Lily had pestered Sev at length to tell her about Hogwarts, and the part that had captured her attention was the houses, and specifically the Sorting. Sev had told her that the Sorting took place in front of the entire school, which Lily wasn't looking forward to, but she was quite excited to see which house she was placed in. He had mentioned a sorting hat, which had to be tried on, and chose what suited you best.

Lily had read Hogwarts: A History and had read up on all four houses. From Severus's description, Slytherin had seemed like it was for clever people who wanted to do well but the more Lily read, the less it seemed to be as simple as that.

Ravenclaw was for the clever ones, Gryffindor the brave, Hufflepuff the kind and Slytherin the cunning. It wasn't as simple as that, but Lily had tried to simplify it, so she could work out how to demonstrate any of those qualities to a hat, in front of a hall full of people who knew more about the world they were in than she did. She had thought about it a lot, but now that she was here, looking up at the great stone ceiling, about to enter the Great Hall, she didn't feel like much of anything, except scared.

She was glad that she had Severus by her side, but she didn't like how defensive he seemed to the few people that had tried to talk to them, or specifically her. There was no way that she would make any friends if he was constantly sneering at them from her side.

"Aubrey, Bertram"

It was starting. She felt her stomach twist and instead of getting used to seeing the Hat speak, and the students sorted, she got more nervous. What if it didn't give her a house, what if she wasn't magic enough and she was sent back to live with Petunia. She thought for a split second that it might not be so bad to go back to her life before magic. The reasons they weren't friends were almost all about magic, and Lily's determination to pursue it. She wanted this, she reassured herself, she wanted to be here.

Being an 'Evans', she didn't have to wait long. It was nice to be a muggleborn at that moment in that she had no one, except Severus, expecting anything of her. A boy that had just sat down at the Gryffindor table had obviously been expected elsewhere because of the gasps and low muttering that had followed him, both from the Slytherins, and the Gryffindors that he had sat down next to. Lily felt sorry for him, it must be horrible to have everyone know who you were and where you should be heading, only to disappoint them. Lily resolved that if she were to be made a Gryffindor, she would be nice to that boy, though from a glance in his direction, it seemed like he would rather go unnoticed.

"Evans, Lily"

Her legs weren't going to work, she was sure of it. Sev looked across to her and, more to stop herself having to look back at him than anything else, she started to walk, tripping forward.

She couldn't have said how she got from her place in line up to the front, but she was soon sitting on a hard, wooden stool, looking out at a sea of mildly interested faces that didn't quite match the fierce tension inside her chest. A hat was settled over her eyes, and a voice resounded in her head.

_Ahh, an interesting one, good! This should be fun... Hmm... Hmm..."_

Breathe, Lily, just keep breathing!

_So not exactly a Ravenclaw then! To be fair, there's a good mind here, and kindness, you're very kind, perhaps too kind..._

Lily wondered how you could be too kind, but tried to put the thought quickly out of her mind, it didn't seem polite to interrupt a hat when it was talking, given that it wasn't exactly a regular occurrence.

_Hmm, I don't think Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff... no. There's a choice here._

Well, go ahead and choose, Lily pleaded, am I a Gryffindor or a Slytherin?

_Oh, you, yourself, are a Gryffindor, my dear. But you're not just thinking about yourself here, you've got someone else in mind, that you're thinking about. The boy determined to be Slytherin. So, what'll it be?_

What'll what be?

_I was right on the 'not-quite-a-Ravenclaw' thing. For goodness sake, choose. Which is more important to you, following your own path, or following someone else down theirs? It won't be easy and I'd bet that the decision is one you won't make for too long, but right now, choose. You or him, Gryffindor or Slytherin._

She hadn't been told that the hat would give her a choice. She hadn't expected it, she thought it was out of her hands. Her first instinct was to choose Slytherin, how could she leave Severus? But then, she could still be his friend if she wasn't in her house, she didn't believe that a house divide would keep them from being friends.

She thought about the Slytherins and knew she wasn't one of them. She could choose to join them, but the hat had told her she wasn't meant to be there, and she doubted whether she would fit in well amongst them.

In the end, her thoughts went to the dejected-looking boy who she had felt bad for, sitting without a friend at the Gryffindor table, with all those eyes on him and all those people muttering at him. Had he chosen? Would he, given the choice, be sitting at the Slytherin table, with those who had expected him?

Gryffindor.

_Quite right._

The hat announced it and the applause was loud enough to bring a smile to Lily's worried face, she tried hard not to look at Sev, but her eyes were drawn to him, and he looked sad enough to make Lily reconsider her choice.

Was that a selfish thing to have done? Lily often worried about being selfish, she didn't like people, like Petunia tended to, who only thought about themselves, and who always put their needs first.

Perhaps Lily ought to have chosen Slytherin, and followed Severus. Part of her worried that she had really done some damage, but in truth she was happy to join the red and gold table of smiling faces and cheering, with the people who might go on to become her friends.

If this was selfish, Lily could see the benefits, and when Severus was inevitably, though after a surprising pause, declared a Slytherin, she had recovered from the worst of her guilt and was feeling very hopeful.

As the sorting ended and the table filled with magically-appearing food, Lily had convinced herself that no matter what, she and Severus would always be friends. What could possibly come between them? She turned around, wilfully ignoring the boisterous dark-haired boy next to her, and offering Severus a small wave. He didn't see her, though it had looked almost like he had been looking at her, and then turned away, but she must have been imagining that, surely.

It was true that it had taken a great deal of effort to get to Hogwarts, she had gotten up before the sun had risen, and had sat in a hot, stale car, with her whining sister.

She had ran, full-pelt, at a brick wall only to pass straight through.

She had travelled hours across the entire country on an old train with hundreds of other students.

She had sailed across a lake on a tiny boat, a lake that she had read was home to a Giant Squid.

She had made a very big decision regarding her best friend and their future.

It had been a very big day, and as she worked determinedly through a large slice of chocolate cake, she was certain that it had all, every bit of it, been worth it. The floating candles, the magic food, the amazingly long beard of the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, all of it proof that Lily Evans was no longer normal, that her life was so very different from what she had imagined.


End file.
